My mom birthday
Photo of most the parenting books I used to own.
(Written on November 21st,2022)
All of my children’s births were special to me and their birthdays are a day to celebrate that special day, but, my eldest’s birthday is different because that is the day I became a mother. That is my mom birthday. I told you how, before he was born I read all the books, did all the research. Which did not prepare me for becoming a mother. It didn’t prepare me for how much I was going to change, physically, mentally, emotionally. It’s amazing and can be overwhelming at times.
Before I became a mom, I admit that I wasn’t the type who doted over babies or volunteered to change diapers. I confess that I changed my youngest brother’s diaper with the help of my other brother and the shower. It was just too much for me back then. Its funny how you become immune to the grossness of poop and other bodily fluids and you wipe noses, try to catch vomit in various vessels, your hand being one option, completely unphased. That’s what becoming a mother did to me. It also made me that person who will kiss a grubby finger because it hurts or hug a sniffling toddler and let them use you as their personal tissue. Your standards change, your priorities change. What’s a clean t shirt next to a sick child you’ve comforted? You can wash the t shirt. The child needs you now. It doesn’t always have to be like that it mostly isn’t, but you have those moments. Moments when you will sit on the ground in the park to kiss his dirty knee and hug away the pain, because sometimes moms have that super power. I wish we always did.
Something about a mother gives you the power to know when something isn’t right, and when everything is ok and he’s just faking because he wants to miss science class. I took my son in to the ER even though his foot wasn’t visibly injured, but he was complaining that it hurt and he never complains, so I had to be sure. He had a fracture in his foot and it was put in a cast. You won’t always know, that’s ok. We are human after all.
You will do things wrong, and learn with your baby. Some things may seem wrong at the time but you will look back and realize it wasn’t wrong, like holding your baby in your arms watching them sleep. They grow up too fast. If you don’t have to be anywhere, if you don’t need to do anything, hold your baby, enjoy these moments, they will grow so quickly and before you know it they are 15! Where did the time go?
I remember one of the crazy things I did to my oldest. I had been gifted different types of thermometers so when he was sick I’d measure his temperature, with the forehead, pacifier thermometer, under the armpit. Of course, every temperature was different. Then, I’d call my sister in law who’s a doctor. Why is his temperature on top of his head higher than his temperature on his forehead? I remember her saying; what are you doing to that poor boy? You don’t need to check his temperature on various body parts! Hahah! I’ve come a long way, I promise.
As I sit here and write this on my eldest’s 15th birthday, I think about him and his siblings, what amazing humans they are growing up into. How different they are. Each with a unique personality. As they grow older, they give me hope that; yes, I am a good mom.
If I could go back in time and talk to myself, I’d tell her, you are going to become a great mom! I’d also tell her, you don’t have to lose yourself doing it.