Between May & November

10KSA is a government initiative to raise awareness for cancer prevention and early detection.

I started to write this in May and finished it in November.

It’s the end of May and after starting the year (2025) with a cancer diagnosis and the death of my father, I feel like I was running, for a brief period I was standing still, hoping the world would too. Now, I’m slowly walking again, towards the future, trying to figure out what I want it to look like. I am juggling so many things, as usual, I have the addition of my mother living in the same city which is bittersweet, I wish it didn’t have to happen this way. I’m slowly figuring out how I can include her in my life without overwhelming myself, especially since she is currently living on the other side of town and visiting her takes 45/ 60 minutes with traffic sometimes more. She is not demanding but I want to be there for her and I’m happy I can see her every week, instead of going months at a time before I can visit.

A part of me feels like I’ve gone backwards, I was making progress toward finding myself again and it seems the first thing I let go of when everything is too much is myself.

I have been slowly getting back into myself care routines, the little things I do throughout the day for myself; my morning coffee, listening to a positive podcast while I do my morning chores around the house (I’m currently listening to Mel Robbins), taking my supplements, drinking enough water, I’ve gone back to the gym. Slow and steady, right?

It’s the middle of November, I completely forgot about this post, I sat down to write and didn’t know where to start so I thought I’d go through my computer and see if there was something that might inspire me and I found this post.

It’s funny that since May, I’ve taken my supplements on and off, continued to go to the gym despite a minor knee injury. I’m doing physical therapy for my knee three days a week, two days at the gym and a morning walk with the lovely RWG community Thursday mornings.

I listen to different podcasts on and off depending on my mood in the mornings.

I’m trying my best to balance all my responsibilities and take care of myself. But like I said, the first thing I let go of when things are overwhelming is myself. It’s easier to put myself last. Though I know it doesn’t have to be this way.

Grief continues to be hard. I trying to heal. Some days are harder than others.

My mother has been in between cities. Which is exhausting for her, I know. But we still haven’t found a forever home for her here in Riyadh, and I know she finds some comfort in her home in the Eastern Province, the last home she shared with my father.

I have asked her, if she prefers to stay in the eastern province but she wants to be here where there are so many family, friends and more importantly grandchildren.

Tuwaiq trail race is on the 29th and I’m starting to feel more confident and more excited about it even though it looks like I will be going alone this year.

My father’s oncologist called me back today, I had been waiting for around a week. I understand he is very busy. I really appreciated his call. I think it was what I needed. He reassured me that my father’s cancer isn’t hereditary and we have nothing to worry about. He confirmed that gastric cancer is silent and aggressive.

I asked him, did we do enough? He told me we did. We talked about prevention and raising awareness which he ageeed is important. He said gastric cancer isn’t talked about a lot because it’s very rare. Only 135 cases in Saudi Arabia last year. In comparison to colon cancer which had over 800 cases in King Faisal Specialized hospital alone.

I understand the need to spread awareness for all cancers. I’m grateful for the governments initiative 10KSA.

The doctor assured me he is working on a project to help raise awareness. I offered my help wherever they need it. He promised to take me up on my offer.

I think this phone call helped give me some closure. I hope it will help me heal. I will continue to educate myself and try to raise awareness in every way I can. It won’t bring my father back, but hopefully it will help keep someone’s father alive.